Today’s Quote

Posted March 19th, 2010

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m
divorced so they won’t think something is
wrong with me.

Elayne Boosler

Today’s Poem

Posted March 19th, 2010

An aesthete from South Carolina
Had a cock that tinkled like china,
But while shooting his load
It cracked like old Spode,
So he’s bought him a Steuben vagina.

Today’s Story

Posted March 19th, 2010

I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so
much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never
figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart.
I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a
state of turmoil, when it hears the words “I do”

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel like it, I
just want you to hold me.” I said “WHAT???!!! What was that?!” So she says
the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear…

“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man. ” She responded to my puzzled
look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for
you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one
take so I told her we’ll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings.

Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave
short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she
asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all
dear, let’s go to the cashier.” I could hardly contain myself when I
blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
“WHAT??!!!” I then said “Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this
stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a
man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, why
can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I won’t be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly over
a frozen hell.

Today’s Joke

Posted March 19th, 2010

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just dreamed
that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What
do you think it means?”

“You’ll know tonight.” he said.

That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it to
his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled
“The meaning of dreams”

Basic HTML Tags

Posted March 18th, 2010

Ute SchaedlerBasic HTML Tags

With HTML this is the markup language that you will find when using web pages.
This is how the information needs to be displayed on your computer. You’ll need to learn how to write HTML codes so that you can design websites. You’ll find that there are a lot of HTML tags that [...]

Today’s Quote

Posted March 18th, 2010

“Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.”
— fortune

Today’s Poem

Posted March 18th, 2010

There was a young lady from Kent,
When her husband’s pecker it bent,
She said with a sigh,
“Oh, why must it die?
Let’s fill it with Portland Cement.”

Today’s Story

Posted March 18th, 2010

A sign seen over the toilet paper dispenser in a military “latrine”
(bathroom): “Another quality product of the 3M company, sandpaper
division.”

Today’s Joke

Posted March 18th, 2010

An elderly man tells the Doctor he is planning on marrying a women of 30,
and would he have any suggestions.
“Yes,” says the Doctor, “I would advise you to take in a boarder.”
A year later at his 80th year check-up, the Doctor asks how everything is
going. He says fine his wife is pregnant.
The Doctor remarks: “so you took my advise and took in a boarder?”
“Yes I did, is the reply, and she’s pregnant also…..”

So Many Affiliate Programs!

Posted March 17th, 2010

Ute SchaedlerSo Many Affiliate Programs! Which One Do I Choose?

Ask questions first before you join an affiliate program.
Do a little research about the choices of program that you intend to join into. Get some answers because they will be the deciding point of what you will be achieving later on.
Will it cost you anything to [...]