Web Design -Photoshop Action Scripts

Posted March 11th, 2010

Ute SchaedlerWeb Design – Photoshop Action Scripts

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Today’s Quote

Posted March 11th, 2010

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up.

- Thomas Edison

Today’s Poem

Posted March 11th, 2010

There once was a man of Sag Harbor
Who used to go with a fag barber.
He gave some auditions
In many positions,
And now he plays flute with Jan Garber.

Today’s Story

Posted March 11th, 2010

As an art teacher for an elementary school here in Jacksonville, Florida,
one of my recent assignments for the children was to enter a contest that
our new national football team, the Jacksonville Jaguars, was promoting.

The winning artwork gets placed on the back of the season tickets, so I
encouraged the children to come up with a good logo and a colorful
creation.

One innocent little girl was so enthused about her masterpiece she turned
in to me. It had a picture of a mean looking jaguar that read, “You’re
messin’ with the wrong pussy.”

Today’s Joke

Posted March 11th, 2010

“Information. Can I help you?”

“I’d like the number of the Theater Guild, please.”

“One moment, please.” Pause. “I’m sorry sir, I have no listing
for a Theodore Guild.”

“No, no. It isn’t a person. It’s an organization. It’s Theater
Guild.”

“I told you, sir. I have no listing for a Theodore Guild.”

“Not *Theodore*! *Theater*! The word is *theater*.
T-H-E-A-T-E-R!”

“That, *sir*, is NOT the way you spell Theodore.”

Today’s Quote

Posted March 10th, 2010

“We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.”

- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

Today’s Poem

Posted March 10th, 2010

There was a young lady named Gloria
Who had sex with Sir Wilfred DuMoria,
Then with 26 men,
Sir Wilfred again,
And the band from the Waldorf- Astoria.

Today’s Story

Posted March 10th, 2010

I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large
motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the
vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing
generally looked like an extra in “Twister”. I asked
the manager what had happened. He told me that the
driver had set the “cruise control” and then went in
the back to make a sandwich.

Today’s Joke

Posted March 10th, 2010

On their honeymoon night, the burly groom took off his pants and asked
his bride to put them on. The waist alone was twice her body.

She said, “I can’t wear your pants.”

“That’s right,” intoned the groom, “And don’t you forget it. I’m the
one who wears the pants in the family.”

The bride took off her panties and asked her husband to try it on.

“No way. I can’t get into your panties.” he said.

“That’s right. And that’s the way it’ll be until you change your
attitude.” she said and smiled.

Today’s Quote

Posted March 9th, 2010

Education and intelligence aren’t the same thing!